you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
