You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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