She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
