Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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