laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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