Already got asked if we're dating
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
