I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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