There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
