Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
