Rock
Scissors
Fuck
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I deserve this hangover.
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