I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
