I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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