How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
