i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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