things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
