and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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