I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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