Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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