The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
