Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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