I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
