My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
