She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
