Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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