I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
