i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
