Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
do nipples grow back?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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