Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
