i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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