ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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