I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
