How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dick very happy bro
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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