1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm going to jail i love you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The power of my boobs compel you
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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