We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
