just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
