so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
