Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
