question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
