question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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