yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
