And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
