I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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