Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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