At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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