marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
