If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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