the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
