After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I fill condoms, not promises.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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