Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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