i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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