Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
